What am I waiting for? A burning bush, a hand-delivered scroll from a parallel Universe, or any other quantum physics variation of a Universe other than this current one? I am a fully online Avatar of myself. That idea appeals to me the thought of "coming online and powering up". How long have I been at the mercy of someone else pulling my puppet strings or gaming features? Enough. I am not talking about radical changes like quitting your meh job or walking out on your husband, wife, or partner. I am suggesting that there is a place for radical responsibility in your own life. No room for shame or blame just leaning into the concept of ownership for the way your current life is now.
Regarding higher education, when I think of our daughter's curriculum in college there are a series of courses she is taking to fulfill her designated Major with some other hand-picked certificate programs. How about your own life is your curriculum (and yes, you choose it even if subconsciously) and you start consciously choosing your Major and Electives. Your life is your Major and you get to choose your electives. What is not optional is that your current life, just as it is, IS your Major. So whether your daily curriculum involves mundane issues around administrative home ownership or car details, you have the opportunity to show up and BE the highest version of yourself. Ranging from Impatient or even-tempered, victim or empowered individual, Hot mess or Centered version of yourself. There is room for taking advantage of the professor's office hours (meditation with your inner guidance) or going to the local coffee shop to carve out some focused time away from home distractions.
Now may be a time of being in the liminal space. I remember hearing this word a few years ago and love the definition. 1. A boundary or threshold. Yes! Being aware of what supports you and allows healing is a critical bit of awareness. 2. Relating to a transitional or initial stage or a process. I am not suggesting that any of your previous life is related to an initial stage but rather to the "groundhog day" like the experience of revisiting certain life's lessons with each event getting louder and louder until it is addressed with open eyes and an open heart. Surrendering to the As Is moment.
In the spirit of getting what you want vs. what you need, there is a higher power at work. The work of expansion and growth. Taking your life's experiences including painful ones, and mining for the wisdom that births purpose and passion. There is a season for all of this. Now.